November 21, 2008

I Need some Advice

I need some help. I don't know what to do about the following situation.

Dragon wants to create his own recipes. I say great! He wants to create them. I say great, but he needs to learn the basics first. You can't make your own bread recipe if you have never tried to make bread to begin with. I have tried to explain this, but he just gets mad that he can't create what he wants. Money is very tight right now, I can't afford to go get these expensive ingredients that he wants to us. He gets mad. He will also plan these days where he gets to make meals, but doesn't tell us until the night before and then gets upset that we don't have the groceries. I have tried to get him in the kitchen more to help me and he will say no. Sometimes he will but he only wants to do one or two things in a recipe then he leaves for me to finish. He will just walk off. Let's not even talk about what happens if you ask him to help with the dishes or take out the trash. He gets very upset. We have tried to explain that if you talked to alot of the tv chefs they would tell you that they got started as a dishwasher. He wants to cook, but he does not want to clean up after himself. To be honest he has gotten a little bit better.

Does anyone have any ideas?


Theresa said...

Hmmm...this sounds to me like a great opportunity for natural consequences to work their magic. If he plans a recipe without first consulting the cupboard to see if he has the ingredients, then he can't make it. Simple enough. If he fails to plan ahead and you don't have time to get the ingredients for his meal, then he can't make it. Also simple enough. Let him get mad. That is ok. Eventually he will learn to plan ahead.
You may want to remind him "Dragon, if you want to make a meal sometime this week, you need to let me have your ingredient list before I go to the store on x-day, or you won't be able to make it." Once you have done that, the ball is totally in HIS court.

If he fails to learn the basics then his recipes will taste bad. Natural consequences.
Get him some simple recipe cards (Usborne has several nice sets, and cards are more fun for some reason than books) and let him pick through them and choose one to make. But again, he needs to bring the card to the store and make sure he gets the ingredients. If not, then he cannot make it.
But the important thing is that it isn't YOU telling him he can't make it. You are not the bad guy. It is just a fact. The natural consequences of not having ingredients is that he can't make the meal. Let him get mad. That yucky feeling is usually a good incentive for him to remember next time.
Hugs to you!

Anonymous said...

Theresa's comment is a great one. If he's not ready to hear your advice, then let him try it on his own so he can see the results from that.

I had no idea that Usborne has recipe cards and will have to check into that myself. My youngest is also interested in cooking and the cards would probably be great for him.

It's hard to let them do something when you know what the results will be and I know that times are tight but, if he wants to try and make bread, those ingredients aren't too pricey for him to do so with less than stellar results.